Monday, September 27, 2004 ::In groups of 3s or 4s, there's bound to be one person who is to be left out or lightly regarded. That person would be one with the least talents; the one with the most "out" figure; the one who doesn't quite click with the rest. In other words, that person is the outcast. Only in the group to provide invalauble entertainment value. That person would be the one who will be left out in discussions and activities just because the person is not good enought to be part of going-ons.It is all but a sized-down replica of this world that we live in. The little political games that occur in every imaginable level of society, as a sleeping giant, yet to be awakened.This sleeping giant is one not to be reckoned with.Think before you act or speak.:: got this from a friend's blog.. think its really really true.. how on the outside,everybody seems so close.. but at the end of the day,u might be the one left out on everything, no matter how big or small..
stir (: - 7:56 PM.
Sunday, September 26, 2004 i miss my jie.
i miss her presence.
i miss the times we went out(however few) and laughed at ppl on the street.
i miss her giving me freebies or hand-me-downs.
i miss her coming home late w/o her keys and having to call my hp till i wake up.
i miss going shopping with her(however few again).
i miss her overflowing cupboard.
i miss fighting for the phone with her.
and i regret..
..not spending enough time with her.
..not telling her that i love her.
..not going out with her more often.
but most importantly, i regret the childhood that i missed spending with her.
i miss my kor.
i miss his presence.
i miss him teasing me.
i miss getting irritated with him.
i miss him coming back all dirty and still lie on my bed.
i miss him asking if i want anything whenever he goes out.
i miss him taking funny photos of me.
i miss his messy room.
i miss his smelly musty cupboard.
i miss playing stupid games with him.
i miss the times we laughed at my mum together.
and i regret..
..not telling him that i think he's the best kor i can ever wish for.
..not telling him that i love him.
and i realise, a little too late i guess, that i shouldn't have waited till now, when their gone, to know how much i love and treasure them.
stir (: - 7:26 PM.
Saturday, September 25, 2004 prelims are officially over! haha.. shall update on the past few days..
230904
had physics design paper.. technically my last paper.. if u don't count NE in.. haha.. was super happy doing the paper.. coz at first i was pretty scared that i cldn't do it.. but when i realised i cld do it i was super happy.. haha.. think i made some careless mistakes though.. oh wells..
anyway.. me and nic rushed home to bathe and change and then we rushed to the bus stop so tt we wldn't miss the 315 show for "dodgeball".. but inspite of all our rushing.. we weren't in time.. ended up watching the 415 show.. and i met my sec sch friend in the theatre.. so coincidental.. haha.. "dodgeball" was hilarious!! super funny i tell u.. i couldn't stop laughing.. everybody should go watch it..
after the movie.. we went down to heeren for dinner.. wanted to eat at fish & co but it was too far away.. hahas.. so ate at this restaurant in heeren called billy bombers.. i read in a mag tt the food there is very good.. but when we reached the whole place was EMPTY!! but still decided to eat there.. and this was wad happened...
we sat down and looked at the menu.. everything seemed to be in such big portions so i wanted to order from the kids section.. so we called the waiter over.. and when i pointed out wad i want.. he looked at me and wanted to laugh.. then he said that adults can't order from the kids section.. so embarassing i tell u.. haha.. oh and next to each table there's a fake jukebox.. and when our food came.. nic asked the same waiter how come the jukebox only has 20 letters and not 26.. and he looked super puzzled.. then he said the machine can't be used.. like duh..! haha..
240904
was supposed to have ne paper.. and i didn't go.. haha.. went out with my mum instead.. was supposed to treat her lunch coz its her bday.. but i ended up paying half only.. haha.. and my mum bought me the pair of adidas shoes tt i wanted.. was so happy.. then we wented to mango.. she wanted to buy me a proper winter jacket.. but cldn't find a good nice one.. think my mum and i are perfectionists.. always finding faults in all the clothes we saw.. we were like image consultants for each other.. haha.. think shopping with my mum is fun.. got to know her better too.. shall do it more often..
and today..
went to school early in the morning at 8am for the stupid mock chem practical.. which was totally meaningless since we haven't gotten back our prelim papers yet.. was like discussing all the answers with benji and steph.. haha.. anyway.. went home after that and fell asleep straight away.. haha.. and then i stoned the whole afternoon.. was so bored till i almost wanted to study chem.. u must think i'm crazy right.. haha.. but then i found something better to do.. disturbing my mum.. haha..
that's all folks! :)
stir (: - 11:08 PM.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004 i'm a happy happy gal today.. had math paper 2 today.. its my second last paper.. haha.. have physics design qn tmw.. which i have only an inkling of an idea of wad's going on.. haha..
did something stupid yest during my physics paper.. was supposed to answer 4 out of 6 qns for Section A.. but i didn't read the instructions carefully.. so ended up doing all 6 qns and i even handed up everything! haha.. so silly.. and the worse thing was i rem the invigilator say do four qns.. and i thought he say wrongly coz i had enough time to check all my answers.. haha.. silly me..
enough of all those silly stuff.. haha.. i'm so glad my prelims are gonna be over.. think i seriously need to relax.. jus wanna do nothing the whole day.. maybe jus take a good book and go to starbucks to read all day long.. with nobody to interrupt.. sigh.. think i can only do that after my As and not now..
something i can do now is buy tt pair of adidas shoes that i saw.. my gosh.. i've been thinking about it since the first time i saw it last friday.. its super nice.. the cut is extremely girlish and its really stylish too.. din try it on but it looks very comfy.. really hope i can buy it.. hmm.. anybody willing to sponsor? :)
i miss my brother!! he left for london on sunday and i was so sad.. its like we haven't really stayed that far away from each other before.. and for so long too.. know he'll be back in time for x'mas but that's like three long months away.. i even miss all his teasing and lame jokes.. my house is like super empty now.. with my bro and sis both gone to diff parts of the world.. eventhough we were never a very close-knitted family, it still feels very weird going home and seeing empty rooms.. rooms that seemed locked in the timeframe before they left.. oh well.. wad can i say.. life goes on..
stir (: - 6:06 PM.
Friday, September 17, 2004 ok.. i seriously should be studying now.. after playing the whole afternoon.. but i gotta let this out.. here goes..
as u know i did my chem paper 2 today and there were super alot of chem bonding qns.. which i hate coz i dun really understand that topic.. and apparently.. kb ong gave his class one of the qns to do as practice yest.. the EXACT same qn.. that's like cheating!! argh..
and also for paper 3 our dear kb ong told his classes that for environmental chem.. the soil topic wldn't come out.. and its like there are only two qns and three sub-topics to study for..and soil was supposedly extremely impt.. according to all the past cambridge qns.. so silly ol' me mugged super hard for soil and it didn't come out.. sigh.. life's always so unfair..
ok.. guess u're all tired of me ranting on and on.. shall go study stats now.. and to all those taking ur prelims like me.. HANG IN THERE!! all the best guys.. haha..
p/s: i love u too jude.. for all that u've done for me.. haha.. [my reply to your testimonial.. :) ]
stir (: - 11:31 PM.
judy bought dark maltesers for me!! hahas..can't wait to try them.. she said its really really nice.. haha..
anyway.. i ate cheese prata for tea with nic.. yummy.. hahas..
ok..i jus took a long break.. played computer games with my bro.. super funny.. i kept dying.. then he keep laughing at me and forcing me to play.. its not fair.. haha.. and here's the only game that i'm very good at.. haha..puzzled sheep ..its a very nice game.. with very very cute sheep.. haha..
stir (: - 7:17 PM.
"wad will he do when he finds out..? she wonders yet again.. friends tell her that she will know what to say when the time comes.. but.. when is the time.? when will she ever be able or ready to do it.? she just doesn't know..
she still cries herself to sleep every night.. when she's all alone and she knows noone will be able to see her tears.. esp him..
she wonders how she'll ever be able to live life again after all this is over.. how she'll ever learn to love again.. to love like this again.."
stir (: - 7:04 PM.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004 drained.. i'm so totally drained.. and its only the first day of prelims!!
think cj's crazy.. put two heavy papers on the same day.. so tiring.. went home and i couldn't sleep properly even though i'm tired coz my brain was in overdrive..
oh well..shall go mug for physics now..
stir (: - 8:26 PM.
Friday, September 10, 2004
stir (: - 8:58 PM.
*how she wish she can disappear from his life..
to be gone forever..
to be forever erased from his memory..
but she cant..
everywhere he goes is juz a reminder of the wonderful and happy times spent with her..
everything he sees will make her tink of her..
why?why?why muz reality be so cruel to him?
what has he done wrong?
is it wrong to love?
he loves her with his whole heart..
he thot she did too..
not until she pushed him away like an infectious disease..
never wanting to be near him again..
always so cold and heartless to him..
wat did he do wrong?
he's left clueless..
but the answer will never be found..*
yupz..got tt from steph's blog.. but changed some of the words..hope u don't mind my dear gal.. think u know why i changed the words too.. niters..=)
stir (: - 1:34 AM.
Thursday, September 09, 2004 I cut my hair!! hahas.. my head feels sooo light now.. i'm a happy gal for now.. =)
stir (: - 12:54 AM.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004 Had pizza hut for lunch today.. ate with my bro.. just the two of us.. haha.. think this is gonna be one of the last times i'm gonna eat lunch alone with my brother before he leaves..
Oh.. i gotta tell u all this.. think my brother's really funny.. he came to my room this morning with a plastic bag full of toiletries and ask me how to pack into his luggage bag.. haha.. and he had that super lost look on his face.. and i got a shock that he asked me such a qn..
Supposed to be playing badminton now with nic and jerald.. but all the courts at the cc are FULL!! not fair..
stir (: - 7:37 PM.
"He seems to know. To want to draw further away. And it hurts her to see the distanced look on his face.
Things are different now. She can feel it. He seem to be doing things more out of a habit. and it makes her want to cry all over again.
On the outside, she tries to be the same happy-go-lucky girl that she was. But in the comforts of her room each night, she breaks down. Unable to bear it anymore. She vervently craves for respite. "
stir (: - 7:09 PM.
Sunday, September 05, 2004 "in my heart there is a door. and through this door appears a room.
on each sky blue wall is a window. each window has a different view. mostly of far away lands and pretty flowers. of secret gardens and lovely beaches. in this room, music plays and all troubles go away.
it is my little room of you. it is where i find my peace amongst all my woes ... i leave the door open, in hopes that i can stay forever. but i know i cant. for you are not mine. you are only borrowed.
yet in my heart will always be this room."
got this from jo's friend's blog.. hope she doesn't mind.. think its really really meaningful..
stir (: - 5:46 PM.
"And with tears flowing down her cheeks, she cried out,'Why does it have to be this way? Why does God want to take away the one thing MOST precions to her?'She doesn't understand why it has to be this way.. And it hurts her to have to hurt him,to have to turn his life upside-down, inside-out, to have to see him hate her with all that he's got, to know that he has no clue about it now, that she has to keep it from him, unable to share cos its too painful, too painful to even think about it in the depths of her soul. It hurts even more knowing that she still loves him. What is she to do?" Your unfailing love.
Your unfailing love.
Your unfailing love
Over me again
stir (: - 5:14 PM.
Friday, September 03, 2004 sigh.. my phone's spoilt! i can't switch it on!! its like.. only if someone calls or msg me than i can use it.. i've been calling myself the whole afternoon so tt i can use my phone.. its so irritating.. and the worst thing is i can't find the instruction manual..
anw.. studied out today.. finished 1 physics paper.. haha.. don't normally finish 1 paper at a go.. so proud of myself..(",) haha.. and tt's like the only good thing tt came out of today..
oh... and my mum cooked today! tt's like so rare.. haha.. she made tandoori chicken.. yummylicious!!
stir (: - 11:33 PM.
Thursday, September 02, 2004 hahas..jus finished my gp paper and i'm doing up a blog..muz study!!
stir (: - 7:10 PM.
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