sometimes i wonder why i care so much about what others are doing.. is it better to find out whats going on, or is it better to just keep an eye shut.? after all, curiousity kills the cat right.? why should i care anyway.? its none of my business right.? sometimes i think i think too much for my own good.. but is it all in the mind or are these things really happening around you.? how do you know when you're thinking too much.? is it when you ask too many qns.? i don't know..
i shaln't care anymore.
stir (: - 1:08 AM.
stir (: - 5:09 PM.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
I Offer My Life
All that i am, all that i have I lay them down before You All my regrets, all my acclaim The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours
Lord, I offer my life to You Everything I've been through, use it for Your glory Lord, I offer my days to You, Lifting my praise to You As a pleasing sacrifice Lord I offer my life to You
Things in the past, things yet unseen Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true All my hopes, all of my plans My heart and my hands are lifted to You
What can we give that You have not given And what do we have that is not already Yours All we possess are these lives We're living and that's what we give to You Lord
stir (: - 4:31 PM.
decided to blog since some ppl have been nagging at me day in, day out to update.. haha.. u know who u are.. =) nothing much has been going on actually.. basically, i've been studying almost 24/7 (duh, big exams coming up.. haha..).. here's what my timetable's like..
morning - study chem
afternoon - study physics
evening - go for a walk round the estate
night - study maths
yup.. study study study.. =)
stir (: - 4:21 PM.
i bought my prom dress today!!! so exciting.. there were like four dresses that i really like.. so didn't know which one to choose.. just kept on trying and trying.. haha.. ended up buying a black dress with pink lining.. its super nice.! and its so me.. haha..i probably will only wear it once a twice.. but i don't care cos i love it.! haha.. happy..
i'm so confused..
don't know what to do..
those few seconds today were heavenly..
a slip of the tongue..
was it really a jus a slip.?
i don't know..
u tell me to follow my heart..
but what does my heart say.?
i really don't know..
maybe all these should wait..
at least till after A's..
till i know what my heart says..
till i know what God is saying too..
maybe this time of seperation is good for us..
stir (: - 10:37 PM.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
these few weeks will be study study and study somemore.. i just can't wait for A's to end.. have so many wonderful plans.. oh went to sign up for basic theory just now.. gonna do it at ubi coz nic's dad has a friend who's working there.. so its better yup.. haha.. ate black chicken also.. it was superb.. think i burn my tongue tho.. haha..
slowly, but surely, i can feel myself loving again.. not that i've ever stopped.. slowly, but surely, i can feel us getting closer again.. slowly, but surely, i can feel the hurt going away.. slowlt, but surely, i can feel myself being drawn to u again..
i don't know whether this is right.. i don't know whether this is the way it's meant to be.. i don't know whether this is what's supposed to happen.. i don't know..
stir (: - 8:33 PM.
151004
had grad ceremony.. man i'm really gonna miss my class.. all those times we laugh and scream.. the times we practise for the cheerleading competition.. the times we zao school together.. but think i'll really really miss the gals.. chicky bao, parrot poh, swan, jaihui and dia(my nieces), kri-tie, hanyi (left hand or right hand?), and cla.. all those times we spent laughing till we teared and had tummyaches.. laughing at steph's blur-ness.. and all the silly little jokes we had.. really regret not knowing my class better.. didn't really get to know the guys better till this year.. benji my kor, yusheng the paste-ta boy(kiddin la), dan forever talking, kenneth whom i always bully, guang yong the muscle man, and the others.. its been great fun getting to know u all.. and bonding as a class.. will never ever forget u guys and gals.. and we must always keep in touch k.. 2T25 ROX!!
Steph: thanks for all the care and concern. and always willing to listen to all my troubles and giving all the good advice.. thx for making my life in cj brighter with all your silly jokes.. next time must wear your three 'balls' when u go out with us k.. haha..
Bao: you've always been the sensible one among all of us.. always willing to help and all.. where ever u are in the future, i'll always rem u..
Swan: think u're the smartest among all of us.. really glad that i've gotten to know u.. eventhough out of the three of u, u're the one that i don't know tt well, i'm really glad tt our paths have crossed.. will rem all those times we complained about hansen during pw.. hmm.. keep in touch k..
stir (: - 3:16 PM.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
the week's been kind to me.. managed to do quite alot of work i think.. but you guys should see my timetable for the next few weeks before A's man.. its really quite packed.. except for sat and sun.. those are like my catching up days.. haha.. hmm went to sch until 9 today.. then left with nic and tze qin.. the neighbour's club.. haha.. studied in thomson plaza.. took two hours to finish the nj chem mcq paper.. it was extremely hard la.. sian.. had lunch then did nj paper 2 in nic's hse..
sigh think my appetite's shrinking again.. i'm back to my popcorn chicken tummy again.. i don't know why.. i try to eat more.. but the food doesn't seem to want to go down.. how now brown cow.?
i'm sorry i don't know how to answer your questions.. i'm confused.. don't really know what to do.. i want u to move on.. don't know when we can be tog again.. don't want u to wait for nothing.. don't want u to get hurt again.. don't want to raise your hopes only to let u down again.. i don't know what to do..
stir (: - 7:50 PM.
studied with my mummy and my ah ma and my ah gong today.. they are all super spastic and lame.. haha.. mummy nv warn me beforehand.. =) nothing much to say.. except that i feel very happy and i know that many ppl care for me.. thx for praying..
even though i may not be able to answer all your questions, really glad that we can remain as friends.. for now.. really happy that u're willing to come to church.. when in the past u've been quite reluctant.. today's chat at the playground was nice.. and i went home with a smile in my heart.. i don't know why.. i hope u did too..
stir (: - 8:11 PM.
i feel so empty. so lost. trying to find my bearings, but to no avail. what to do? what is there to do anyway. where am i? why do i care anyway.
study cry and study again.
stir (: - 10:26 PM.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
i'm sorry.
i thank u for understanding.
i thank u for saying 'its ok' even when i know its not.
i thank u for still willing to have me as a friend.
i thank u for trying to make it easier for me.
i know its hard for u, and i thank u for trying ur best to understand.
i thank u for putting on a brave front.
and i promise u, we will always be friends.
and i promise u that my promise to u wld not be fragile.
i know u still wonder, but i hope one day u'll truly and fully understand.
thank God for making it easier than i thought it wld be.
thank God for being there for me all the time.
and lastly, thank u to all those who helped me thru this difficult time.
stir (: - 5:46 PM.
"She wonders, 'does God's plan for u include bad stuff? or is it your own making that makes u upset? is God's plan always perfect, always good? or is the sadness in our lives a way for God to mould us, and is part and parcel of His plan for us?'
she's made up her mind. as much as she'll feel sad, she knows she has to do it. as much as it hurts her, she has to put God ahead of everything. she doesn't understand why God wants it to be this way. but she knows that this is what she has to do.
is this God's way of moulding her? to shape her into a better person? to test how strong her faith is. no matter what it is, she knows it has to be done. and it will."
stir (: - 10:27 PM.
haven't blogged in a long while.. and i know bao can't wait for my update right.. haha.. don't really have much to say.. the whole past week was just going thru paper after paper.. checking and checking again.. and i got back all my grades.. but if u wanna know u gotta ask me.. haha.. not too good though..
hmm.. talked to my mummy (i mean eugenia) today.. my mummy's really wise.. should talk to her more coz she gives me good advise.. steph too.. simce i don't wanna get slapped by the two of u.. i will do what i have to do k.. so don't worry..
stir (: - 10:22 PM.
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