Monday, December 27, 2004
so many emotions. so many feelings. i don't know what to do. who to turn to. who to look for. where's God when i need Him. when i need an answer. You told me to do it. and i did. pressing on with great reluctance. but You leaving me hanging here. insecure. afraid. afraid to reach out to anyone for help. afraid to do anything at all. where are You when i need You. where are You when i need an answer. confusion sets in. what's my next step. do i even have a next step. fear. fear of talking. of being vulnerable once again. sadness. my initial reason still stands but i still wanna ask why. letting go was the only option You gave me. was it really? why those dreams. why? why do i have to put on a front? why do i have to mask my feelings up? why does christmas not feel like christmas at all? why? confused. afraid. sad. angry. ----
stir (: - 1:15 AM.
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