Wednesday, March 02, 2005
came back from perak on monday.. i've learnt so much there.. it was really amazing.. one of the most important thing i learnt was that however hard we try to come up with schedules and programmes, it never really matters coz only God's schedule is the one that we should be following.. realised that it can be really frustrating when things don't go our way.. but at the end of it, we get something even more rewarding when it is what God wants.. ok i shall not blog about every single day.. if u guys want to know more pls come and ask me personally.. i'll be more than happy to share.. haha.. and i really love my group to bits!! think we really compliment each other really really well.. we only had one problem among us and that was sorta settled on the last night.. will always remember our family tree and family actions.. our various mtvs and spastic photos.. our lame jokes and silly catch phrases.. will always hold all these fond memories of the whole lot of us close to my heart.. i miss my group..i miss talking to jude and pam and jo and mark.. esp my dearest jude.. feel so far away from her life now.. feels like i don't really know her.. miss the times when we would just sit in a corner and talk and talk about everything and anything.. realised that what pam said was very true (see doodle board..).. i don't really know what's going on in her life and its the same for her.. maybe that's why i find it hard to just open up and talk to her.. it just feels different.. i don't know why.. really hope that we can talk like before again.. and jo.. no matter where u are.. i'll always be here for u k.. really miss the old times and we must go out whenever we can k.. i hate feeling so bottled up.. i hate feeling so cornered.. i hate not knowing what to do.. i absolutely abhor whatever i'm feeling now.. why is it that things can never go exactly the way that i want it to be.? why must there always be obstacles and stumbling blocks in front of my path.? i hate putting up a front for everyone to see.. i hate having to pretend that i'm absolutely happy when i'm not.. and sometimes, i hate this world..
stir (: - 11:37 PM.
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