watched romeo and juliet last night.. i love that show.. its stirs up emotions within me i never knew exists.. raar! i'm tired.. slept at 4am and i woke up at 745 to go to church! almost wanted to skip cos i cldn't drag myself out of bed.. but i forced myself to.. (: hmm.. i'm supposed to start applying to aussie unis soon.. i'm thinking alot these few days.. what i want to study.. where i want to study.. i'm thinking of studying early childhood education together with psychology.. or finance together with psychology.. or just psychology.. or just accounting.. i've almost no idea what i wanna do.. i'm thinking of studying in US after trinity.. i want to travel and experience new things.. i want to meet new ppl of diff cultures and backgrounds.. to learn new things.. i don't know what to do.. how now brown cow? i hate u. i love u. i miss u.
stir (: - 2:58 PM.
so sorry for making all of u worry for me.. but i'm alright.. really.. there were just some things that i had to settle with myself.. i've been having weird dreams.. so did jo p.. how weird.. i hope they don't come true at all.. i'll make sure they don't.. (:i moved my own furniture!! heh.. so proud of myself.. i'm sleeping against the wall now.. my room seems bigger now.. i like.. oh and my tragus has been put on hold for the moment for various reasons.. one of which is that i think my tragus is too small to be pierced.. everybody says so.. can just imagine going to the shop and the guy will look at my ear then say sorry too small, i can't pierce.. haha..i'm listening to lots and lots of jay chou songs these days.. how ironic.. i come to melb to study yet i keep listening to chinese songs.. oh went to this jazz pub on saturday.. was really really good.. they had this gig with 3 different vocalists and they were all fab! stayed throughout the whole thing till 12 plus.. and went to max brenner before that.. yummy yummy.. i satisfied my chocolate craving.. (: and i went church on sunday morning! was at altona.. this suburb.. had to leave my hse at 830 for the 10am service! and had to take both tram and train.. but it was great! haven't felt so close to God in quite a long while.. i cld really feel God's presence there.. just me and Him, in that big hall.. i really want to stay in the church.. but its so far.. service ended at 1130.. but after lunch and all, we reached home at ard 3pm.. that's more than half the day gone! still praying about it.. oh and i found my primary sch friends there! how small is this world! haven't seen them in like 6yrs.. haha.. that must surely be a good thing.. realised i've been rambling on and on.. i've just got so much to tell.. or maybe i just need to talk to someone, anyone.. mummy dearest: thanks eugenia.. for being there.. i miss u alot do u know that? there's nobody and nothing here that can ever replace u.. i'm in dire need of your sensibility.. and i promise i'll call u soon.. i can just imagine u hugging yourself like in that greeting! (: (all the best for ur competitions!)lala: thanks so much for your concern.. i'm really ok.. i'll reply your email soon k.. really busy these days.. i miss u.. really lots.. twin: thanks for being there for me whenever i needed to talk to someone.. i doubt u'll ever read this.. but if u do just tag k.. i wanna know..
i miss u.
stir (: - 8:23 PM.
i'm going on a haitus of some sort. i need to find myself again. do still email me or call me if u want. i just wldn't update this place till i feel right.
stir (: - 10:32 PM.
hello hello! the last week has been a really busy one.. with lit test and maths practice test.. thanks so much clara for your help!! it really helped me alot alot alot! (: hee.. have been studying every single night.. and we went shopping on saturday! really really happy.. i'm a happy contented girl.. and so is celest i believe.. ooh and we ate nice yummy lychee ice cream.. at this place tt my sis told us about.. (mummy, nx time i'll bring u k.. haha..) i'm really tired.. haven't been sleeping well these few days.. there's something wrong with my pillow.. don't like.. :( i shall go pillow shopping soon.. at myers.. where they let u try the pillows out.. haha.. oh i've decided to pierce my tragus.. don't ask me why.. its one of those things you do almost on an impulse.. and i will do it.. cos i only get to live once.. its almost a now or never thing.. and i will do it.. unless i chicken out at the shop itself.. haha.. (: (mummy, what do u think..) does a piercing make me less me?
stir (: - 7:56 PM.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Look at me,You may think you see who i really amBut you'll never know meEveryday its as if I play a partNow i see if i wear a maskI can fool the world but i cannot fool my heartWho is that girl i see staring straight back at mewhen will my reflection show who i am insideI am now in a world where i have to hide my heartand what i believe inbut somehow i will show the world what's inside my heartand be loved for who i amWho is that girl i see staring straight back at mewhy is my reflection someone i don't knowmust i pretend that im someone else for all timewhen will my reflection show who i am insideThere's a heart that must be free to flythat burns with a need to know the reason whywhy must we all conceal what we thinkhow we feelmust there be a secret me i'm forced to hideI won't pretend that i'm someone else for all timewhen will my reflection show who i am insidewhen will my reflection show who i am inside
stir (: - 9:06 PM.
why do you have to be like this everytime things don't go your way? why do you have to do those small lil things that make me feel all guilty? it doesn't help that i get distracted from my work having to think how you're feeling. i'm tired.
stir (: - 1:33 AM.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
hello hello! i'm back from s'pore alr.. tiredness is taking over me so i better get this typed out soon.. the past 4days have been extremely busy and hectic.. spent most of my time at my aunt's place for my granduncle's funeral.. other than that.. met jo p for tea on sat.. and i surprised my dearest eugenia!! but she wasn't really surprised.. boo! then i shocked my whole cell.. esp my clara my dear.. haha.. met pam juse mark josh for brekkie on sun before service.. i miss all of them so much! and i dun like the new coffeshop! i want the old one back.. but i still drank my teh ping.. and its still nice.. took quite alot of photos.. mark lost weight! din notice till tues before i left but he really really lost weight.. no good no good.. and judy gain weight! but she looks good now.. haha.. and monday was cremation service at mandai.. then had dinner w jude and pam.. and josh came later and mark came the latest.. felt good catching up w pam and jude.. i miss them loads.. had mudpie w mark.. he doesn't disturb me tt much anymore.. i wonder whether tt's good or bad.. but at least we talked.. its been a long time since we talked like tt.. yup.. and tuesday must have been the highlight of my short trip home.. went to the airport to take the 0955 sq flight back to melb.. but the flight was overbooked! and i was actually on the waiting list and not confirmed! so i din have a choice but to take the night flight back cos even business class was fully booked and my dad obviously wldn't let me take first class.. so then the lady at the counter asked me for my e-ticket or paper ticket.. and i realised i didn't have one.. thought maybe my dad forgot to pass it to me.. so had to go to the ticketing counter to print one.. and when i got there.. i realised that my dad DIDN'T even pay for my ticket!! so i had to use my nets and pay for my ticket! so dumb la.. and so i went home again.. and went to scatter my granduncle's ashes.. made me feel peaceful tho'.. maybe i was meant to go.. anyway, in the evening, met my dearest mummy eugenia for dao hui!!! happy happy.. yummy dao hui.. i love u mummy.. hee.. yup then she went w me to the airport where mark was there alr to send me off with a nice yummy lime green CRUMPLER from him, pam, jude, josh, celest! my belated belated birthday pressie! but that really made me smile.. thx so much u guys! i love u all loads! it was nice catching up with everybody.. (:
stir (: - 3:33 PM.
Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circle flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die. You've touched my life in more ways than one. You never scolded me like u did the rest. You always seem to know how i feel. Even when others didn't. But one thing i regret is not getting to know you better. I never shared your love for poetry. I never got to know that side of you. But I'm glad that you're free now. I wouldn't cry anymore. Cos there's no more pain. No more jabs. No more tablets. And just like the way I saw it yesterday, you're in a place full of sunshine and joy. Where you're truly happy. Goodbye for now. Till i see you again.
stir (: - 11:50 AM.
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