[ Firefly Beach ]

Saturday, December 31, 2005

just before the year ends.. let me add in another part of reflections.. on friendships and relationships.. on building bridges and tearing down walls..

i guess its only after i left sg that i really really learn the meaning of friendship.. i must say that i'm really glad that i found true friends.. here in melb and also back in sg i guess.. distance was most definitely not a factor in my friendships anymore.. before i left sg, i kept wondering which of my friends i wld really stay in touch with and not drift at all.. and i guess i've found them.. i'm sure u guys know who u are.. so there's no need to type it out for the world to see.. in these friendships that grew stronger.. distance and frequency did not matter.. our other friends did not matter.. cos when i talked to them on the phone or chat online.. we could always pick up from where we left off.. even if its been really really long.. and i'm sure u guys are for keeps.. (:

and melb.. i guess i've learnt to be more discerning in a certain way.. sure, i choose my own friends and all that.. but in these friendships, unlike those in the past, i was not moulded to act or behave like them.. rather, we integrated all our characters and personalities together.. and that's what made the friendships here so unique i guess.. and so worth keeping..

its been slightly over a year since whatever happened happened.. and two more years to go with my covenant to God.. the past year has taught me alot.. you've taught me alot.. from the many times that i tried to walk out of your life.. to the times you refuse to let me go.. from the many times i got angry.. to the times you refuse to retaliate.. from your many letters and calls.. to your never-failing care and concern.. from your steadfast love and faith in the future.. to your determination and never-say-die.. i guess this friendship or relationship has been pretty much one-sided.. but i wanna say thank you. cos i know that no matter what happens.. i know i can always depend on you.. even if the whole world fails me, i know i can count on you.. sometimes, i don't understand how you do it.. how you can be so strong in your stand.. but i guess that's not for me to understand..

"You make me smile so wide
When I look into your eyes
And when you're not around
You know you're somewhere stuck inside my mind."

stir (: - 12:44 PM.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Christmas eve was spent in the company of derrick, jess and alex doing accounting and watching naruto.. and after that was to the indon's bbq at somerset.. yummy yummy food.. (:

stayed over at glenn's place after that to watch dvd and to prepare for the christmas party tt was coming up.. (: i guess you can say we had fun.. maybe its because we all expected less and got more.. i wasn't really looking forward to spending christmas here.. but it turned out better than expected.. (:

erinna, duddy, me, irene, superman gone wrong..

me and faiz..

and this is what happens when you get bored.. (:

alex!!

brownie-muffins! partly made by yours truly.. we cldn't find the proper tray in glenn's house.. so we had to make do with muffin trays.. but it turned out good.. maybe cos it was made from cake mix.. haha..

peaches and cream pie!! 100% original! made by me! and i dare say it was yummilicious!! (:

after being half eaten.. before glenn sneakily went to pack it so that he could enjoy the rest himself the next day.. haha!

the whole group of us! it was a fun christmas all in all i guess..

boxing day sale on monday was a blast! and surprise surprise.. faiz actually woke up at 7 and met me at 8+ in the morning!! and all this from a guy who's never early for a single class.. haha! but i must say, faiz does have good taste in clothes.. i bought 2 tops, a jacket, a bag and a make up kit thingy.. i'm a happy girl.. (: i would have bought more stuff if they came in the correct sizes tho.. think there were at least 3 other tops that i wanted to buy.. but there was no size!! raar! so irritating la.. and i would have bought a pair of shoes too.. but no size again!! raar!

and yesterday was spent doing drama and maths with glenn at his place.. he's damn funny la! and we tried out the google earth thingy.. and he was super amazed by it.. haha.. and jess, alex, derrick, yingfei and i watched the chronicles of narnia last night.. quite a good show.. in the sense that the way they interprete certain key items from the book was v good.. but other than that.. it wasn't that good at all.. mediocre..

mummy: i can't wait to go back! go count the no of days with your new calendar! haha.. (: i love you!

stir (: - 12:35 PM.

Friday, December 23, 2005

liane, this one's for u babe.. i love u.. and in a certain odd way, it epitomises the second half of the year..

"the year 2005,
from putting our hands down
to the Ankong band,
to knives, stalkers & 'freaks',
to adding spices in our lives
to discovering the many talents of the fantastic four,
to never flushing toilets
& singing along to bad songs on the radio.
to fluff & duff, the candy floss.
to dirty laundry... sinks & plates.
to loud alarm clocks, to childhood dreams misplaced,
to kissing the rain and marrying our corpses in closets
and... much much more
to going home..."

liane chia liyan! no matter how much i make fun of you.. you know i still love you right.. cos there's just this certain chemistry between us.. the i-know-you-know-whats-on-my-mind kinda thing.. and i think what you said epitomises this to a tee..

“And I don’t want the world to see me,
Cause I don’t think they’ll understand.
When everything’s made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am…”

and yes.. it does start and end with the fantastic four.. and there's something you missed out in your card.. kite-flying - for all its hype and excitement.. the kite which never flew much but made us run much.. the kite which caused the 'downfall' of a certain crude person and made one of the fantastic four swear never to run again.. (:

stir (: - 1:10 AM.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

everybody's asking what we're going to do on christmas eve and christmas day.. this is the one time where i really really really wanna go home.. christmas this year is going to be really diff.. i know they say that christmas isn't christmas till it happens in your heart.. but i don't feel it at all.. not one bit.. bleah..

stir (: - 9:10 PM.

somehow, the year has come to an end.. this year has been full of ups and downs.. its been a great year.. yet also regretful.. and maybe a tinch of sadness.. i remember on 31st dec 2004.. i told someone, "don't worry.. i didn't get to celebrate new year's eve with you.. but i will next year!" well.. i guess that's a lil impossible now eh.. let me recount back to the main events of this past year..

+Serve '05

the first two mths were spent in serve together with eugenia, lala and my twin.. it was such a wonderful time of sharing and growing and bonding.. of learning and breaking barriers.. at some point of time in that two months.. i opened up my heart and was completely vulnerable to the three of them.. and most definitely to God.. i learnt so much about myself and about God.. was all ready to go out there and evangelise.. which i did..

+Perak Trip #1

my first ever mission trip.. scared.. not knowing what to expect.. the whole group of us took a bold step of faith.. and we never looked back with regret.. i remember wishing that the trip would never end.. because i was learning so much fresh information and experiencing things i've never ever experienced before..

+Trip to Melbourne

this trip to melbourne and sydney lasted two weeks and was done almost on impulse.. but it was good spending time with my sis.. (:

and somewhere in between the trip to melb and the second trip to perak.. i made the decision to study in melbourne.. even though i've always dreamt of studying overseas.. i didn't expect the decision to take so much pondering and thought.. well, at least the thought process comprised mainly of deciding to leave everything to God, which i did.. and everything turned out good in the end i guess..

+Perak Trip #2

then came trip no. 2 in may.. with pastor ian not with us this time and our numbers dwindling to a mere 4.. this was really really a bold step of faith out of our comfort zone.. we had tons of fun.. and we had tons of trial and errors cos there was nobody to guide us this time.. but it was just awesome i dare say.. in some ways, it was way better than the first trip.. cos this time, nothing was planned nicely for us.. we had to take the initiative..

+Church Camp

in june came the church camp in KL.. had tons of fun spending time with jude and eugenia.. knowing that it might probably be my last church camp in the few years to come just led us to treasure the time spent even more.. and on the last night, after playing cards and talking nonsense and talking serious.. there came the scary incident which left me and jude freaked out.. and from the two ends of the king size bed that we were sharing, we rolled right into the center and tried to not think wild thoughts while sleeping on the same pillow.. and then came jude's leg cramp incident.. (: this camp left me with many many memories.. mostly good i dare say..

after this came the trip to the zoo and ben and jerry's.. it felt like a primary school excursion all over again.. (: but it was really really fun.. and the ben and jerry's and the end was worth it i guess.. haha..

+The day i left

on the 28 of june.. i had my last dao hui break with my dearest mummy.. before going to the airport late at night.. it was really nice to see everybody who was there to send me off.. i was sad and excited.. happy and apprehensive.. so many emotions.. it didn't feel like i was going for real.. somehow, the people sending me off didn't set the waterworks off.. but the letters and notes did it..

that's all for now i guess.. part II and maybe even part III will come soon.. (:

stir (: - 8:30 PM.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

the thought of going home in 45 days excites me and keeps me motivated.
but it also scares me.
maybe i've changed so much
be it for better or worse
that nobody will recognise the new me.
i know i've changed alot here.
for one, i've come to realise how immature i have been in the past
not that i think i'm very mature now.
for another, i've come to know the kind of person i do not want to be.
thirdly, i've become, in my opinion, a better judge of character.
fourthly, i've become more dependent on my friends here.
i wonder what it'll be like when we all go back to sg and not see each other for a few days.
after spending so much time together
be it studying, going to school, chilling, cooking, making fun of liane or even just hanging out.
it'll be weird going back and spending so much less time with them.
not that i don't miss u guys in sg
but its just weird.
and i'm scared.
i miss u guys so so much
but yet i'm scared.
i'm scared that i can't connect with you all on the same level anymore.
i'm scared that the 5.5 (soon to be 7) mths spent apart will cause drifts that are irreparable.
what do i do then?

oh well.
christmas is coming.
no christmas spirit whatsoever.
its going to be really really homesick christmas this year.
how i wish i could transport myself back.
even if its only for a day.

stir (: - 11:49 PM.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

drama night was a blast! loads of photos tons of fun.. do see the new link in the photos column.. its under spice of life.. whee.. photos no. 61 onwards are of the actually drama night.. and those before are of the dress rehearsal.. unfortunately i don't have photos of the last play cos my cam ran out of batt and i had to help alex take photos also.. will try to get them and post it up.. (:

celest and stir! thx babe for helping me do my hair! (:

jaz liane stir! three very different characters. three very different roles. three very different personalities. three very good friends. (:

stir (: - 12:41 PM.