[ Firefly Beach ]

Thursday, June 29, 2006

In all its emotional complexity...
In all its blinding perplexity...
In all its swirling reality...

A momentary lapse of reason...

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across point champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love

Live through this, and you won't look back
Live through this, and you won't look back
Live through this, and you won't look back

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to say

apt, how apt.. got that song off a friend's blog.. and i went to look for it and it has an extremely lovely video to go with it..

stir (: - 2:43 AM.

Monday, June 26, 2006

i'm home. and loving it tons despite the humidity. (:
its been pretty good actually.
i've been pigging out much to the amusement/delight of eugenia lala and my twin.
and it isn't helping that we're going to island creamery and newton tmw! (:

its good to finally lay everything down in front of us and sort things out.
no more grey areas.
no more guessing games.
no more high hopes or expectations.
just pure friendship.
no strings attached.

no more tears.
no more tension.
no more awkward moments.
just two old friends coming together.
catching up on life and its ironies.

did i get it right this time? i hope i did.

stir (: - 2:16 AM.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

this is really random but i saw the prettiest chairs and the prettiest decor in the prettiest, albeit empty, not-so-little bar last night. was out having dinner with glenn and playing with his really pretty and cool nintendo. and we went to this bar for coffee after dinner and it was SO PRETTY!!! the chairs remind me of alice in wonderland. like i could just imagine the queen of hearts sitting in that chair, except that it was black and white. and the whole place reminded me of judy goh and lala! like i just now the both of u would love it! they had really high ceilings and almost everything was black and white. and they had like different themed rooms, which weren't open cos it was, after all a monday night. and i wanted to steal the pretty chair home. but it was too heavy. blah.

and i can't wait to get home! i'm really really excited ok. like i'll be studying halfway and the thought would pop into my head "ooh! i'm going home! i'm going home!" *big grin* ok. i think that sounded quite stupid. i shall go sleep.

stir (: - 1:11 AM.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

liane, my dearest bitching partner. where are you when i need you?! i feel the urge to make weird noises.

stir (: - 1:44 AM.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

5 days and 2 papers away from home.
and i really can't wait to go home. i have become a nerd. if your asked me what my fav hang out place will be over the next few days (and this includes the past few days) my answer would be the library and exam hall. and what else would i be doing? hmm..study...exam...study...study...exam.. raar! i'm bored. i watched alice in wonderland on teevee just now. that was the only interesting thing i did today. but it was really good. i remember wanting to be alice when i was young. so that i can be big and small. and talk to strange people. i think i completely missed the point of the story when i was young. and at the end of the show i realised that size really is relative to what we feel inside.

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see You
Everything would be all right
If I could see You
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right

I know You didn’t bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface

And I will walk on water
And You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right

stir (: - 11:18 PM.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

the craziest, most bazaar, most absurd encounter just happened as i was walking back home alone after dinner with my fellow library camper. and i walked all the way home with a face that said "HUH?!" and a head full of weird thoughts. and i'm still shaking my head in disbelief. like seriously, HUH?!?! and it made me feel something that i haven't felt in a long long time.

anyway, i have an exam tmw. but i feel strangely calm yet panicky at the same time. i'm weird. today's weird. the walk home was weird. i wanna go home. i'm still in disbelief. if you looked at me now, you'll see question marks everywhere.

raar.

stir (: - 8:57 PM.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

"i guess there are times when you feel like you can conquer everything, but when it looms ahead, suddenly all your resolve melts away..."

a quote from lala's email. i hope u don't mind. but how apt. how very apt. somehow its easier to conquer everything from 3000++km away.

10 days and 3 papers away from home.

and for the record, i was studying till my neighbours'(3 apartments worth) 'ooooh-s' and 'DARN-s' and 'arrrgh-s' and banging the walls and stamping their feet made me unable to study no more. the socceroos are playing japan. i realise that aussies don't really understand the rules of soccer. they prefer footy but follow along simply because the socceroos are in germany. my pastor was saying yest in church that he didn't understand why the soccer players were in so much 'pain' when they simply knocked each other a lil' bit.

stir (: - 12:19 AM.

Monday, June 12, 2006

i am a jealous and terribly terribly homesick girl.
its freaking cold and windy and gloomy and
i have no more motivation to study and i wanna go home.
but a certain part of me doesn't want to go back.
cos going back means facing up to things.
i contradict myself.
i feel fat. i should go for a jog.
but its cold.
i shall spend the next week in the library.
the library that has to central heating.
i wonder why the education faculty is so poor.
raar!
i miss eugenia and clara and judy and my twin and the lovely (hot!) weather in sg.

raar! i'm cold.

i realise this is really random.
i should get down to studying.

stir (: - 2:00 PM.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

i just had to blog about this.

was studying at my table this morning when i looked out of my window and saw this guy in white in the student apartments across from my window. he had a ciggie in one hand and study notes in the other. and he was dancing! like trying some hip-hop rnb moves that totally cannot make it la! and i had a good laugh for a minute or so. wanted to take a picture of him dancing but it was too far away. (:

ah ma! go help me box his ears! haha. i go back and give u live descriptions u sure laugh one. heh.

mummy dearest! CONGRATS!! was so suprised to hear your voice just now! really really happy for u!! (:

stir (: - 12:45 AM.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

if i get a dollar for every time somebody came up and told me that the course i'm doing is easy and stress-free and 'oh-so-fun', i'll be rich by now. raar! my course is NOT easy! its tough. just like every other degree in uni! so what if you're doing engineering or commerce or any other 'professional' course! that doesn't mean you can look down on me just because i 'play' with children everyday! there's so much more to it and i'm fed up of being laughed at or looked down upon. sure, i don't mind the occassional joke or two. but sometimes you just have to watch your mouth man! its the exam period! i study just as hard as any one of you guys! raar!

i don't care who sees this man. i just needed to rant.

stir (: - 11:51 PM.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

its 7 days to my first paper and the panic is beginning to set in, little by little. i wanted to blog about something but i suddenly forgot. hmm. oh wells.

i realise that its exactly 21 days till i go home (liane don't laugh at me!) and i can't wait. but sometimes i wonder what will happen when i go back. was talking about it with liane last night over dinner. and i seemed so sure of myself. so resolute. maybe because distance is the greatest barrier of all. but what's gonna happen when i go back and in 7.5 hrs, all that distance is gone? no matter how resolute i seemed last night, i ask myself whether that all is just a facade. a mask. that would come crumbling when i go back.

sometimes, i think i think too much.

stir (: - 11:11 PM.